We are all familiar with the adage: “Half of marriages end in divorce.” Turns out this statistic no longer holds weight. This quote dates to the peak divorce rates during the 70’s and 80’s. In fact, according to much research, divorce rates have shown a steady decline over the past few decades and are now, at this moment, at their lowest level.

Research shows this is because people are marrying later in life, when they have a better handle on their own financial/career stability as well as a more mature perspective on relationships in general. Lower overall divorce rates also point to fewer marriages in the 2020s than in previous decades, with “partners” deciding to simply cohabitate.

Gray divorce – defined as divorce among adults age 50 and older – has doubled since 1990, and the rate has tripled for those 65 and older. By 2010, 27 percent of divorces were among those age 50 and older; by 2019 it grew to 36 percent. Some of the factors driving this phenomenon include increased financial autonomy, longer life expectancy, and increased political freedom and overall societal acceptance of divorce in general.

People in their 50’s and 60’s can safely foresee another 30 or 40 years ahead. Although divorce can take a toll on emotional health, it can also provide a chance at a fresh start. Most relationships erode slowly over time. No one should assume that anything great comes easily either. And so, relationships at any age need to include healthy doses of presence, practice, and attention; maybe even a bit of counseling.

After a gray divorce and/or when people partner up later in life in general, they often report more fulfilling relationships built on compatibility, common interests, and free will.

Our happiness is deeply shaped by those we share life with. It bodes well that the younger generations are marrying later and not putting too much stock in legal institutions. No matter the age you marry, and whether it is your first or fourth partnership, relationships take practice and effort. Never assume a great relationship will just happen. Instead, a relationship can become a skill you learn such as playing a piano or riding a bike.

That said, relationships are not the only way in which older adults can garner connection. A network of support, including family and friends, as well as fulfilling activities and a strong sense of autonomy and freedom can also be the happiness you seek.